Today my husband and I have been together for 6 years (We’ll be married for two years in October.) We met while working at Sam’s Club in 2009, we flirted a little and I just remember thinking his blue eyes were the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen in my life. I was crushing hard but I thought he’d never be interested in me. (Also I don’t take rejection well.) Fast forward to January of 2010, I left Sam’s Club to move to Chicago for school. One night after I got there I decided (or it could have been the liquid courage that decided for me) to send him a message on Myspace to tell him that I liked him and thought he was cute. After all if he didn’t feel the same I wouldn’t have to see him again for 5 months. His response was “Now you tell you me. Now that you’re over 2,000 miles away. I like you too.” (I would later find out that the reason he never made a move is because he thought I was in a relationship with one of my best gay guy friends.) We talked on the phone and texted back and forth the entire time I was there. We decide early on that when I came home for the summer that we’d go out on an actual date.
The end of May came and it was time to come back home to Mississippi. It was time for our date. Our first date together was wonderful, we had this instant connection and honestly that terrified me. I came home and told my sister that I didn’t think it was going to work out because he was too nice. When I came home from the second date, I told her that this was the man I was going to marry. She just looked at me bewildered and started “but you said…” ” I know what I said but I’m telling you this is the guy I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.”
By the end of June I had a job working at Forever 21 and Sam’s Club. It turns out that going to a really nice private art school and being completely finically independent means that even after you receive finical aid, take out the max amount of student loans for the semester you’ll still owe the school two grand. Working two jobs taught me a lot but it mainly taught me that I don’t want to work two jobs for the rest of my life. So I worked my butt off to get that paid off and decided to enroll at The University of Southern Mississippi in January 2011.
That same January my husbands lease was up on his apartment and one afternoon we were talking about it. He looked at me and said “Why don’t you and I move in together?” He must have read my face because he quickly followed up with “You don’t have to give me an answer now. Just think about it.” The truth is it scared the crap out me and I thought I was going to throw up. I had all of these thoughts going through my head. “We’ve only been together for 6 Months! What if it doesn’t workout? What if we hate living together? Is this too soon?!” So I turned to my 3rd Mom, Mrs. Candy, for advice. She basically told me that I should go for it and if it didn’t workout, it didn’t workout. And that I could always come back home. (I honestly believe that she knew, Shae was the one for me the first time she met him.) We moved into a small one bedroom apartment together and it was awesome. To this day I have never regretted that decision.
In October of 2012 we found out that we were going to have a baby. I was terrified to tell him, hell I was terrified in general. I had my entire life planned out, kids weren’t supposed to happen until I was 30 and here I was just turned 24 in August. I was in my senior year of college, I had plans of going to straight to grad school. I was having all sorts of thoughts and fears. I called him while he was at work to tell him, on his birthday I might add. I was freaking out. He was so calm and just reassured me that every was going to be alright and that he’d be right by my side no matter what. When he got home he told me that he had plans to propose before I told him I was pregnant. My response to that was “For the love of God, please don’t propose. People aren’t going to care that we’ve been together 2 and half years or that we actually love each other. They are going to think the only reason we got married is because we’re having a baby.” (We had talked about getting married prior to this but not until after I finished my degree because it was really important to me to have my last name on my diploma.)
In April 2013, he was about to fly out for work, I was huge 7 months pregnant and we went out to eat at one of our favorite restaurants on the coast. After dinner as we’re driving back to the hotel he says to me “Why don’t we stop at one of the beaches? It’s such a nice night.” My fat pregnant self is all like “Babe it’s so humid right now, I don’t really feel like it.” He said “Are you sure babe?” “Yes, honey I just wanna cuddle and watch a movie.” He just said “Okay, babe.”But I felt guilty so I decided to stop at the last beach before our turn to go back to the hotel. We walk out on the beach and we were looking out at the ocean talking. He was right, aside from the humidity it was a nice night. I remember looking at the ocean and him saying “Wouldn’t it be a nice night for a proposal or for us to get married?” I said “Yeah but it’ll happen when it happens” then I turned to him and he was down on one knee. My 7 month pregnant self started jumping up and down, giggling, smiling from ear to ear asking “Are messing with me?!” then he asked and obviously I said yes. I graduated in May 2013 and our son, Deklin was born June 19th, 2013.We finally got married in October of 2014. It was a beautiful ceremony and we had so much fun. That entire first year everyone kept asking “What does it feel like now that you’re married?” I told them the truth “It feels exactly the same, except I have a new last name.” I think from the moment Shae and I started dating he’s always been my husband and a wedding just showed that publicly.
I truly feel like God made Shae for me. He’s always calm when I’m freaking out and knows exactly what to say to help me calm down. He’s my protector but he also knows I can take care of myself. He may not understand my love of the arts but he respects it. He’s never told me that I had to do something or that I couldn’t do something. He encourages me and gives me that extra push when I need it. He’s honest with me. He still surprises me with the little things he does. He loves me unconditionally. My husband is my best friend. He’s a wonderful Daddy too. (There is this beautiful picture my sister-in-law took of Shae looking at Deklin right after he was born, it’s absolutely my favorite picture of them. My husband is grinning from ear to ear and you just see so much love in his eyes. It makes me cry happy tears every time I look at it.) I had an emergency c-section with our son so for the first two weeks of my son’s life my husband basically did everything because I was trying to recover and he never once complained about it. Even after I had somewhat healed he still got up with me in the middle of the night to help take care of our son. There are mornings where he’ll take Deklin in the living room so I can sleep in just a little longer. There is no doubt in mind that he’ll be doing the same with our new baby when he makes his arrival.
One of the things that I love about my husband is how brave he is. I’ve been with him in a resturant when someone has started choking in a restaurant and people are just watching in horror and without hesitation Shae will jump right in. We’ve been driving along, passed an accident that just happened and my husband will turn the car around, run to help them and wait until the ambulance gets there. (I should mention he does have some medical training). He always shrugs it off when I’m in awe of him jumping into one of the situations. He’s like “It’s what was right thing to do, it’s what anyone would do. It’s no big deal” But it is a big deal to me. I tell him all the time that I don’t know what I’d do if I came up on some of the situations he has. I’d like to think that I would just jump in and do the super hero thing, but I don’t know that it’s true. But I’m so thankful that our boys have him to look up to though, someone who isn’t afraid to lend a helping hand in a scary situation.
A few months ago I was talking to a friend/mentor of mine. I was telling her how it makes me feel really proud when I meet someone Shae grew up with or went to school with because the first thing they tell me is how he treated everyone with respect and how he’s a great guy. I instantly apologized to her because I felt it impolite to be bragging. She then told me something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. “Brandy, you should never apologize for bragging about your husband. You should always take pride in him.” That just floored me because up until that moment I thought that it was rude to brag to other people so I tried not to do it. But not anymore I want the world to know my husband is freaking amazing!! I’m so thankful that God brought him into my life. He’s truly the best thing to ever happen to me and I love him more than he’ll ever know.
There is this cheesy quote that I love that goes something like “Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favorite.” I don’t think truer words could define how I feel about our story. I wouldn’t change anything about it. It’s crazy to think about how much life has changed in 6 years. Happy Anniversary to my AMAZING, FANTASTIC, ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL, HANDSOME HUSBAND, SHAE! I LOVE YOU!! I can’t wait to see how much our love story grows over the next 80 years.